That is so…

I recently saw this PSA about how saying “that’s so gay” is insulting to GLBT people. Well, I’m going to go ahead and be non-progressive and disagree with the ads (there is another commercial which features some dudes getting their comeuppance). Dictionary.com gives several definitions for “gay”: “having or showing a merry, lively mood; bright or showy; given to or abounding in social or other pleasures; licentious, dissipated, wanton;” etc. All of these definitions precede the homosexual definition and one can see where the etymology of the current usage comes from. Considering the pejorative connotations of the word, it is easy to see how, say, 50 years ago the older definitions fit with the status quo perception of homosexuals and lesbians at the time.

But I’ve always understood the word gay to mean something entirely different. I can’t really describe what that definition is only to say that it is similar to the feeling you get when you think about all those tacky and tawdry throwaway gifts your dowdy aunt Betty gave you over the years. Yes, tacky and tawdry would definitely be words I would use to describe gay. Something that is so tacky and tawdry that it makes you laugh is also gay. Funniness seems to be part of it too. Hmmmmmm…a person, object or incident that is unstylish, tacky or tawdry, especially with the ability to evoke laughter. Example: ”Moose hats and slippers that sing Christmas Carols are really gay.” I wonder if that definition would fly or not with the William Saffires of the English speaking world?

One has to understand, however, that my usage of the word gay is an immature one. Most adults don’t accept – or understand – this meaning of the word. As I was growing up all of my friends used gay in this way and many people in my age group continue to use it whenever they are referring to something that is indescribably…aaaaarrrrrrrggh!!!! (sorry for the big mental blank) When I bite into an apple…that is a gay feeling. That tart taste that makes your face cringe up is the avatar of gayness in my opinion.

Also when something is lame, it is gay. So lame would have to go into the above definition. “Man, we lost the game. That’s gay.” Or, “I thought Labyrinth was going to be a cool movie, but it was pretty gay…especially the ending.” In the latter context, gay could be used interchangeably with sucked. Saying the movie was gay is the same as saying it sucked. So my definition of gay could also mean something of inferior quality.

So the second definition would be: a let-down or disappointment, an undesirable situation or incident (Greg thought it was gay that he had to visit his grandparents when he could have been skiing with his friends); something of inferior quality or status (RCA tv’s are really gay, you should get a Sony).”

I am sure anybody between the ages of, like, 8 and 40 would agree that my definitions of the word gay in the aforementioned contexts are quite accurate. Nowhere is homosexuality even implied in these meanings. I can see how some homosexuals might be offended by the offhand use of the word gay, but it is never my intention when I say “that is so gay” to put anyone down. I think with a little clarification we can save the word gay from banishment. I grew up with the word and wish to continue using it for as long as possible.  

Remember, language is always evolving. I think it would be wrong to delite a word from common usage simply because it can have pejorative connotations. The N word was perhaps the most evil word whites ever invented to vilify African-Americans, but look how blacks usurped its definition and turned it into a term of endearment and fraternal bonding. I think bowdlerization is the method of choice for the weak-minded. Some people’s common sense approach is to tell us to stop using the word gay, but how can we stop saying a word that we grew up using. Older brains would be the first to know all about old habits dying hard.

Fianally, for those who may still not get my definition of gay or gayness or that is totally gay, here are some pictures of things which are…gay. When you look at each picture, try to pay attention to the initial emotions and thoughts which are evoked. That, my friend, is gayness. If you can describe that, you are a genius.

Woah! What a gay shirt. What does that say, Tofu? Hah-hah…gay!

Gay plastic Santa thing.

Ha-Ha!…gay!

Dude, no offense, but you’re gay.

Chad Kroger = gay