Rolling the dice

Landing a job at the New York Public Library (NYPL) is, I swear, like getting accepted to Harvard. One has about the same chance being hired as a web aassistant in a retail shop at one of the Manhattan branches as they do winning the New York Lottery Mega Millions Jackpot. This is because anybody who thinks that they have a modicum of artsy and sophisticated bookishness (probably because they subscribe to McSweeney’s and listen to Arcade Fire) is always clambering for a job in The Big Apple. I see them on the train every time I go into the city: the liberated 40-something gays and lesbians who finally found the nerve to divorce their spouses and come out; the 20-somethings donning the latest H&M fashions playing solitaire on their MacBooks; the occasional cowboy or two intent on finding a piece of him or herself to take back to Middle America.

Even so, I think the idealistic drivel contained in the general cover letter (see below) for a NYPL job was not written in vain like the cover letters for the two recent scam jobs I applied to were. If the job search is essentially a numbers game, the only way one can increase their chances of eventually getting hired is by blanketing as many HR offices as is humanly (or electronically) possible with their resume. “Hi- I am so-and-so and I need a job, read my resume…READ IT!!!” The best thing about the NYPL profile I created on their website (which includes the cover letter featured below) is that I can now apply to all future jobs with just a click of the mouse. No more spending 2-3 hours compiling information, drafting cover letters and completing on-line applications. It’s already done, all I need to do is check the job postings every week. Badda-bing, badda-boom! And I can always go back and edit or add things to my profile as needed.

Anyway, here is my “idealistic” general cover letter to the NYPL:

Dear HR Person,

As my resume shows, I have over 3 years of experience working in a library setting both during and since college. In that time, I have come to appreciate and understand the anatomy of libraries as a work place – particularly, how the different departments interact and overlap, the familiar software, materials and nomenclature as well as the driving motivation behind the collective service of providing information. Libraries are many things: community nexuses, vessels of information and sacred fortresses of solitude.

I have held jobs at enough libraries (academic and public) in a variety of capacities (student assistant, circulation, serials and reference) to know that I like working in an information-rich setting. I like being surrounded by so many portals to knowledge and different worlds of fantasy. Six years in the supermarket industry has also taught me the advantage of having good synergy with patronage.

I would love to extend my employment experience in the library field by working for The New York Public Library in any capacity which you feel someone with my education and work history is most qualified. I have a lover of books, learning and reading that extends to library work, which I feel is tightly connected to my other areas of interest and previous work experience – namely writing and teaching.

Please take the time to view my resume which highlights my education, work history and skills. I hope I can be an asset to one of the New York City libraries.

TIM FREEMAN